This month, I decided to share my thoughts in a way that's vastly different from what most dedicated readers are used to. I decided to share my thoughts on the million dreams that keep me awake, I decided to share my thoughts on the future, my future.
I started with the thing that those who have gone ahead of me have said is most important. I talked about grades. I needed to question the validity of grades. Would all the grades I've amassed over the years be important when I actually need them to be? I asked myself. Would good grades be just enough to achieve all my goals? Are my grades really important?
Since my grades may not get me where I want to go, when I want to get there; I needed to ask myself what would and how long would it take me to. At that point, I realised there was even more uncertainty. Nonetheless I decided to embrace the uncertainty and trust the process. I decided to leverage my grades when necessary and pack them up when they're not because the process would come with unexpected turns that no matter how good my grades are or detailed my plan is, I would never begin to understand.
After coming to terms with the process, I needed to tell myself about confrontations I'd face. I needed to talk to myself about the push and pull factors that would either leave me depressed or take me to exactly where I want to be. I needed to remind myself of the pressure I'd face.
In all these, I need to arrive at the future I wanted in time. This brought me to ask, would arriving at my desired goal at the time I want be a curse or a blessing? Would there be a price to pay for the success I seek? Most importantly would I be willing to pay this price no matter what? Should I slow down my pursuit of success? Am I rushing myself for no reason? I needed to talk to myself about the crisis of urgency.
This month, I've had to confront one of the things I'm most uncertain about with open arms and I've learnt that what might seem important now may not matter in 5 years time (my grades). I've learnt that no matter how prepared I am, the opportunities I might need to get the future I desire might lie in me dropping all my previous plans so I must trust the process. I learnt that standards have been set for what I must achieve so I cannot be lax and I also cannot look at those standards to define me, so I need to learn how to deal with pressure. I also learnt that I want to succeed when I'm relatively young, however I must succeed a sustainable success not just for my sake but for future generations because the world would not take anything less.
So maybe my future isn't crystal clear right now, but with these lessons, I just might be ready to face what's coming head on.
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You're going to make it and you won't be late. Stay strong 💪