I'm writing this blog on Sunday, the 26th of May, 2024. On Wednesday, I posted about this incredible lunch I had that I was going to share the details of on my WhatsApp status but never got around to writing down the story. To truly “immortalize” this experience, I’ve decided to also share this story on my blog. Here's the story.
Let’s start at the beginning.
My industry friend invited me to this steak lunch at a restaurant called Bistecca.
All I knew about the restaurant was the name. I typed in the details on Google Maps and walked from my office. When I was 1 minute away, I thought a building I saw in the distance was the restaurant, but when I got closer, I realized it wasn’t it.
I looked around, trying to find said restaurant while simultaneously swearing for Google Maps; after all, this wouldn't be the 1st time Google Maps had led me astray. Remember my Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very bad day? Yeah, that was all proudly sponsored by Google Maps.
While looking around, I saw a sign that read “Bistecca” (pictured above). It looked like it was at the back of a building. Below the sign were these doors that looked like emergency exits with a lot of signs that signaled that those doors were only meant to be opened from the inside. So I thought, “Perhaps Bistecca was at the front of this building”. But the building was so long, there’s no way Bistecca was at the front.
While this was happening, I saw 2 older men in suits walking down the same lonely road Google Maps had led me down. The only difference was, (unlike me) these 2 men looked like they knew where they were going. It was lunchtime, so I figured they were (also) going for lunch at Bistecca. So I followed them with my eyes to see where they went. And sure enough, I was right (as usual 😏). The doors that looked like one-way doors turned out to be the (secret) entrance.
So I went there, and opened the door, half thinking, “No way this door opens, I bet those men had a secret code”. But, nope, the doors opened fine, and I saw 3 flights of stairs that led downstairs to what looked like a Speakeasy straight out of a scene of Riverdale or Gossip Girl.
I gave my host's name and was directed to her table in this dimly lit, almost empty bar. We chatted about how hard it was to locate the place. She told me how she had the same experience as she had never been there either. She followed some people in too. She talked about how impossible it was to secure a booking here. She had to get her friend, who was a regular, to book a table for 2 and, change the booking to her name at the last minute.
While we kept chatting as my eyes ran through this "bar room", a waiter came to lead us to our table. I was like “huh, there’s more???”
We were led into this, also dim lit room, mostly lit by candles, with way more people but just about 8 tables, so not a large restaurant by any means. While we walked in, my lunch partner mentioned that she had heard that the restaurant took their guests' phones away (like a comedy show). And sure enough, while the waiter was taking us to our table, he took a drawer from this wall of drawers.
We got to our table and were given the menu. The waiter explained a few things and ended with the fact that we had to put our phones in the drawer to be locked away. He handed us a key and told us we could go get our phones at any time from the wall of drawers.
After he took our phones away, we continued chatting while parsing through the menu. We joked about how the room was very white and male. Including both of us, there were only 4 women in a room of over 25 men, including the chefs and waiting staff. It was about as diverse as Wall Street was in the late 90s. We definitely looked out of place as women in this male-dominated restaurant. I especially as the only black person and woman in the room. But that didn’t matter. It wasn’t unusual to me. Working in the finance industry in this country, most rooms are like this.
Then another waiter came with some bread and a candle.
He lit the candle and said we could use the melted WAX from the candle as a dip (like ketchup, mayonnaise and the like).
He went on to list the ingredients we would taste in this candle wax dip. He mentioned ginger and some other things I was too stunned to pay attention to. In my mind, the moment he said the candle wax was edible, I started thinking that we would dip the steak in the candle wax.
As a Warri girl, I didn’t believe this guy. Shey you dey whine me ni? What do you mean by candle wax dip? Anyways, after explaining for some time, he walked away.
A few moments later, he was walking past our table and realized we hadn’t touched the candle wax. Then he clarified, that the candle wax dip was for the BREAD!
We both exclaimed, “ooooOOOOoooooohhhhhhhh” we thought it was for the steak! So we both went for it. Dipping the bread in the candle wax and whewwwww! I’ve never tasted anything like it! It’s great! A very unique flavour. I don’t know if it was my tongue that was stimulated by this flavour or my brain. Either way, I went from sceptic to believer.
After we finished, the waiter put out the candle and joked about how the next candle he was bringing was not edible. I wonder how many guests had previously tried to taste that candle as well.
We ordered Bone marrow with parmesan crust, Octopus with olive and oregano, and roast potatoes with fermented chilli aioli. As well as medium-done steak, a compromise between my lunch partner, who wanted medium rare steak and me, who wanted well-done steak.
The 1st thing we were served was the octopus. It was cold and looked red, like it was cooked in tomatoes or pepper. It tasted divine! I loved it. It was, of course, served in a small portion. Remember, I said the room wasn’t well-lit, so while I couldn’t really see what it was, I loved the taste.
Next, was the bone marrow. For this, we were given teaspoons to scoop the edible part from the bone. This tasted like fat that had been garnished with cheese and chilli. I didn’t complain. It tasted like the fat in meat. Delish
Then the main event, the T-bone steak and the roasted potato.
Steak is really just grilled meat. The name makes it touché. It’s Suya, that went to Harvard. But this was probably the best steak I’ve had. The roast potato was Immaculate! I guess I understand why they take 40 minutes to make their steak here, whereas the average restaurant does it in 15-20 minutes. It was worth the wait.
After we finished eating, we walked out to the street. Our eyes squint to adjust to the brightness outside of this speakeasy.
The edible candle, the dim lit room, the locked phone in the box, the secret passageway, all added up to this unique lunch I had on Wednesday. An experience I’d probably only see in movies. This is my life now. A movie I get to watch in 3D.
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