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THE FEAR OF BEING AVERAGE

When I got my report card in primary one (first grade), I was 11th place in my class of about 22. On my way home, I changed the position to 8th and later to 5th. It made the report sheet look so rough but I didn't care. I just didn't want to show my parents a result that didn't show me to be at the top of my class. Obviously, I was caught because I wasn't an expert at "cancellation" and I had to cancel it yet again to change it to my original position πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. When I think of it now, I realise how stupid I was then, but ironically, every now and then we all act like my primary one self in different forms.

Here's the reality we live in. Most of us are average at most of the things we do, even if we are exceptional at a few things, chances are we are just average or below average at other things. In real life (that is, not in the movies or inspirational talks you've watched or listened to πŸ˜‰), it takes ALOT of time and energy to become truly exceptional at a thing and because we have limited amount of time and energy (and we spend a large amount of time in school that we hate πŸ˜’), few of us ever become truly exceptional at one thing or even anything at all.

Safe to say, it is most unlikely that any person would perform extraordinarily in ALL areas of life or even many areas of their life 😐. The Business tycoons we aspire to be are often screw ups in their personal lives, amazing athletes often get broke or bankrupt few years after they step out of the spot light. Many celebrities are probably struggling with real life problems that average people like you and me go through. On average, we are all average people at best πŸ˜“.

But it's the extraordinary things that get all the publicity. You probably already know this, but you've never really stopped to think how this might be a problem. The problem with this pool of information showcasing the exceptional, is that it messes up people's expectation of themselves. The abundance of exceptional things in the media makes people feel that they need to be more extraordinary to even get noticed. That is, we only get to see by the best of the best and the worst of the worst. The exceptional voices, the EPIC blunders that end up becoming memes on our twitter pages πŸ˜‰, the funniest jokes, the scariest terrorist attacks all day, every day.

We are often face to face with information on both extremes of the "human experience", because that's what sells, that's NEWS! Sadly, most of the time, we are literally stuck in the middle of all these; most of the time, we are not extraordinary, most of the time, WE ARE AVERAGE.

The access to information on both extremes of life make us think that being EXCEPTIONAL is the new NORMAL. And because we are quite average most of the time, the overwhelming flood of information showing others doing exceptional things drive us to aspire to more, to work harder at achieving our goals and stuff which is ordinarily a good thing. But when we don't end up GREAT in those areas, what happens to the rush of inspiration we felt after we heard that interesting Ted talk? it quickly turns to feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and simply feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH because we don't meet the incredibly high standards for being noticed 😒.

So we try to cancel out the 11th place on our report cards and replace it with 5ths and 8ths even if it's through crooked means like buying followers on instagram and twitter, showcasing every little detail of our lives on our social media platforms even when we are normally value our privacy or even the exciting things like getting the latest iPhone or winning 9 trophies in a sport that few people are aware of or being the best in a class of 20 or 200.

Mark Mason said in his book "The subtle art of not giving a fuck" that "This constant stream of unrealistic media dogpiles onto our existing feelings of insecurity, by overexposing us to the unrealistic standards we fail to live up to. Not only do we feel subjected to unsolvable problems, but we feel like losers because a simple Google search shows us thousands of people without those same problems. Technology has solved old economic problems by giving us new psychological problems. The Internet has not just open-sourced information; it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame." and I totally agree.

While the internet is a good thing because it makes us aspire to greater heights and do more, it does a great disservice to us when it shows us that that's all there is to become. People do live HAPPY average lives! We don't have to all be extraordinary, infact, we can't all be extraordinary because if we all were extraordinary, then no one would be extraordinary πŸ˜…. If we were all extraordinary, then extraordinary would be the new average 😏. So in the end, it's all a rat race.

I'm not saying we should all become lazy and not aspire to be better than we are. I'm simply saying that although being extraordinary is fun and generally what all humans aspire to be as I said in my post about "the need for importance", the goal should not be to be extraordinary by all means necessary but rather, it should be for us to be TRULY happy and satisfied irrespective of how "unextraordinary" we might end up being. 

So that's what Edna thinks, please let me know what you think in the comment section. 😡😳. Don't forget to tell a friend about this blog if you like what you see.
Also, don't forget to Have a great week 😁.

Comments

Aigbe Ehis I said…
And this blog keeps getting better faster. All true and I do agree. And it is a rat race as human interest is fleeting and never stable, so even some of the "extraordinary" may not be deemed so for long. Great one, thanks.
Tecco said…
The extraordinary feeling is really good but being happy with what you do is better. This post is truly extraordinary 😁
NELSON JOVIAL said…
Extremely Motivational.... More of these articles please. Thanks Edna.
Unknown said…
Wonderfully delivered piece as expected, with a didactic emphasis.
Unknown said…
Your posts just keep on getting betterπŸ‘
Unknown said…
I personal think you’re right about we not having to be extraordinary but don’t you think that gives room for a mediocre mindset. πŸ€” I mean there are some certain areas of our lives that we should strive to be extraordinary.
Kemi Adeyemi said…
Society has made us feel like we are in a race and anyone that doesn't run fast gets trampled. This belief is great but it tends to drift us away from the real goal which is to be accomplished and fulfilled at whatever sphere of life we're at

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