All the advice on anything in life that you've gotten till now is USELESS!
Yes! you read that right... before you dismiss me and say "oh no for sure she does not know what she's saying", hear me out. Let me make a case for myself and then decide.
By now, you've probably heard the buzz phrase "life is a journey" at least once. I think we unconsciously take the phrase too literally. We think of it like: if someone has gone through a certain road, then they should know the way, can show the way and if you follow their directions to the letter, you will get the same results.
But that is hardly the case. Think of it like this: Say Edna travels from Lagos to Abuja, the roads were smooth, her private car was in perfect condition, in fact, she drove a Tesla, she drove at 120km/hr on average, alternated between autopilot and her driving herself so she did not need to make any stops. She got to her destination in 6 hours. The next day, her friend, Jennifer asks Edna how long it takes to get from Lagos to Abuja, Edna would be right to tell her it's 6 hours.
But here's the twist, next month, Jennifer boards a public bus on ABC transport line from Lagos to Abuja. Let's say it was the middle of rainy season, a lot of trucks have passed the road and all the potholes have resumed work. The bus had to stop along the way for lunch breaks, for passengers to urinate etc. So Jennifer got to her destination in 10 hours.
It was the same road, the same route but just by changing a few factors, the time taken was totally different. That is the same way it is with life. With the change of 1 or more factors, the outcome would be totally different.
Let's even assume (for the sake of argument) that Jennifer drove a private car, heck! she also drove a Tesla but because Jennifer does not like driving very fast, she drove at a steady 100km/hr for her journey. She would still not get to Abuja in 6 hours.
The road for everyone is rarely (I dare say NEVER exactly the same). Even if the road is the same, people are not the same. it is always important to consider the context.
CONTEXT IS KING
Every other week, I get questions from people that are usually along the lines of "can you give me any tips on how to get the scholarship you got to do your master's?" or "can you help review my essays" or "can you advice on how to get a first-class" or "can you tell me how you went about your internship application to AFREXIM Bank or Citibank?" and don't get me wrong, I'm always honored to receive all these questions and I always try my best to answer them to the best of my ability but here's what some people seem not to realize (or maybe they know but they just enjoy the activity of seeking advice 🤷🏾♀️).
I’m not a connoisseur of all those things. I just applied and was privileged to have been selected. I did not sit on the board that selected me nor did I know what made them select me. So if you're being honest, you would know that I can’t point to any specific “tips” that would help you get in because while I might think it was my grades that made them select me it might have been something else or who knows if they selected everyone that applied that year 🤷🏾♀️? Or I just said the right thing one of the panelists wanted to hear?
At best, I can only tell you what I did but who knows, even if someone else does everything I did in the exact same way, chances are, they might not get the same results for so many reasons e.g. the decision board might be different, the board might be the same people but with different preferences, the other applicants might be better or we might have different academic qualifications, etc.
Context changes everything!
So does that mean you should never get tips or ask questions or seek mentors? Absolutely not. But we must change the way we see tips and mentors. Don't take them as strict roadmaps or guides that tell you exactly how to get from point A to B but try to understand the principles from the map that has been given to you and apply your own context to it.
Like in the case of Edna and Jennifer, the principles would be that to get from Lagos to Abuja, Jennifer needs a means of transportation: can be road, air, rail, etc; she needs to take the fastest pliable route depending on the means of transport and she needs to ACTUALLY start the journey. If she applied those principles in any random combination, she would still get to the destination, whether in 9 hours, more or less.
Don't just seek advice that will tell you EXACTLY what to do, chances are they most likely will not give you the same results. Instead, try to understand your circumstances and then apply the principle behind the advice to your situation.
Principles are universal but the applications are contextual.
And the truth is, sometimes, you might not need the advice at all. Sometimes, you might just be enough. Sometimes, following the advice might prevent you from showing your true personality and your true personality might be something the scholarship board or recruitment team is looking for.
So while all the advice you've received or tips you've asked people for till now may not totally useless, if you think of it, it may not be as useful as you might think.
CONTEXT IS KING 😏
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"Principles are universal but the applications are contextual"