Every year for the last 3 years (except last year 😅), I have written (and posted) a blog on my birthday talking about... whatever. For some reason, last year, on November 8th, I didn't have anything written. Maybe because I was too lazy or I forgot, or maybe the time wasn't quite right 🤔 and when I finally got around to it, one month later, I scribbled a few thoughts together but never edited or posted it.
So maybe call this Chapter 21 & 22?
Anyways, this article will be a combination of some of the thoughts I scribbled down in December 2020 and thoughts I have today. Good luck trying to figure out which is which 😂
Here goes
I was looking through my blog posts for when I turned 19 & 20 to see what opinions I changed and what I still believe to be true. If you want to check them out, you can find them here: 19 and 20.
To be honest, I still agree with all that was written in those posts. I still think birthdays are hella stressful, and I think if we're going to make so much fuss about them, each person should be granted a holiday on their birthday. I still think the only person that can tell you or determine how best to live your life is YOU.
This year, yesterday, I think I finally got my first stressless birthday. It was soooo laid back. I didn't even remember that having cake was one of the essential parts of a birthday till someone pointed it out at like 10pm yesterday.
And I didn't care. Probably because one of the best parts of living my dream is I almost always have cake at home, so I eat as much cake as I want whenever I want so I didn't feel the need to look forward to getting cake on my birthday, and I didn't miss it when I realized I didn't get it on the day.
So maybe this was my best birthday. I ate delicious jollof rice and scrumptious stewed beef I had made the day before 🤤🤤🤤and watched Shrek after work (which I did from the comfort of my home). I don't know about you, but if you ask me, that was a perfect day.
Side note: while watching Shrek, I realized how bad our memories can be even when we think they're good. I couldn't recognize Fiona. To my mind, Fiona (as a human) was animated like Daphne from Scooby-Doo, and I completely forgot the beautiful by day and Ogre by night curse she was under. I kept checking to be sure that it wasn't a Shrek remake I was watching. Alas, it was the real thing; it was my memories that had me tripping. End of side note.
Chapter 20 was quite an interesting chapter.
I like to think of myself as a cheerful, positive person. This is not because nothing bad, sad or disappointing has happened in my past; this is because I choose to dwell on the positives. Even when the positives don't seem as large a magnitude as the negatives, I weigh and rate the positives so high that it seems like they are the only things going on in my life.
For example, that year, between 2019 and 2020, I applied for at least 300 different jobs and got so many rejection emails, so many "aired dfkm".
Some were good, though. I got to the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and final stages in some. There were others that I fell off by the 2nd stage, others by the 3rd, and so on. So many disappointments for some that I felt so qualified and suited for, but I guess we can't always get what we want; we get what we need... sometimes.
While I was very visibly failing and getting rejected in that area of my life (well, not so visibly failing cos only I and my email box knew the magnitude of rejection), I was getting (moderate) wins in other areas. My Twitter account grew astronomically like a dream in the night (not exactly astronomical when compared to others, but comparison is the thief of joy, so STOPPIT)
When I started my LinkedIn newsletter, that blew up too; I got recognized as a top voice on LinkedIn just days after turning 21. So while I was failing, I was still getting the "You're a huge inspiration", "I'm so proud", "you would go very far, I just know it"; or some variation of it from so many people.
My investments were doing good, and I was making money from some gigs ear and there, so I'll say year 20 was good in my books.
Cut to Chapter 21 (this was November 8th, 2020, in case you didn't figure that out)
When I woke up on my birthday and went to the bathroom, the first thing I did was shed a few tears. Not because I was sad or anything, it just happened.
I strive for excellence, but whenever excellence finds me, and I am honored for it, the only way I know how to process those emotions is by crying. I don't seem to know why this is.
My theory is: maybe that's because I hardly ever cry. And trust me, this is not because my life is always great, happy, or exciting or because I never get disappointed or lose; far from it. I just don't process (express) emotions (sadness) that way. So maybe the only time I let myself fully feel emotion is when I am celebrating something, and that's when I cry.
I know it's not for loss because as far back as I can remember, in SS2, when I was called out for being the "best student in SS2 academically" (which was really an unnecessarily long way for our principal, Mrs. Ojukwu, to say 1st position in the class), my first reaction was to shed a tear. I had already sort of known before the results were called out, but I still cried anyway.
Or was it at secondary school graduation, when I already knew I was best in Mathematics with a 95% score and I was called out for the highest cash prize given at that time? Still shed a tear.
Or when I got the news that I was awarded a Distinction in my Master's or when I was contacted by LinkedIn that I would be featured as one of the top 10 voices in Finance & Economy on the platform for 2020? Tears! Why the tears, sis? Why? 🤷🏾♀️
Maybe call it shedding a thug tear.
Anyways, that's how the morning of chapter 21 started.
Chapter 21 was SUCH the year.
*Vigorously knocks on every nearby available wooden surface*
I think my biggest "flex" is I've never had a better previous year. And this is not because nothing incrementally worse has happened in subsequent years than the one which precedes it. I think it's cos of how I look at the bright side, and to be fair, the bright side is getting significantly brighter as the years come.
Year 21 was more than I could have ever imagined.
It still had its downs... oh, and were those downs low. But the highs were ever so high.
I got to work for some of the coolest companies with some of the coolest people doing some of the coolest stuff. I got to go to some really cool places. Got a great vacation. Achieved a lot more than I signed up for. Met the UK Prime Minister.
------I'll post the official pic here when I get it-----
And did even some COOLER things I won't share yet till everything happens but jeez! It was a YEAR.
And I can already see year 22 shaping up to be a more interesting year. I can just feel it. I can't wait. I'd say stick around for the journey; it's going to be a really good one 😏
At the end of my scribblings for the chapter 21 article, I wrote, "I'm a sucker for trilogies, so the chances that there would be a chapter 22 are quite slim, but I wouldn't give up hope just yet; that might be just the most interesting piece I've written yet 😏" and here we are in chapter 22. Did it deliver? Is this the most interesting piece yet? I think it is. Or at least it's the most revealing one.
Here's to chapter 22 🥂 To Double digits and Dangerous as Janine puts it
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