THE FEAR OF LONELINESS

Walking down the street without a companion, sitting at a restaurant table for two alone, staying at home with no one to hang out with on a Friday night. Thoughts like these normally come to mind when we hear the word 'loneliness' and thus we can easily say we aren't lonely because we are always in the company of friends and family and even when we're on our own, we aren't truly alone because we have our devices that connect us to thousands of people at virtually a push of a button... If only loneliness was that simple 😩. 

True loneliness lies in being surrounded by people of similar tastes and preferences and still feeling alone. True loneliness resides in having to hide parts of who you are and things you feel just to fit in. True loneliness is being accepted for who you are not! True loneliness is... being unique but having to act like everyone else 😔.

Personally, I've had my share of lonely moments but I won't be talking about myself today. I'll be talking about a friend who for the sake of this post we'll call Andy. 

Andy is by far one of the smartest, most ambitious and aware persons I know. He always has a joke to tell, sometimes, only the thought of him could make you laugh. As expected, Andy had loads of 'friends'. He was always found around people because his persona was very inviting. But Andy always felt alone. Amidst all the group chatter and jokes, Andy never truly felt like he had true friends. Worse still, he never found love or rather, females never found love with him. For this singular reason he was devastated. Day after day, he'd complain about how he needed a companion of this nature, someone he could "bare his soul to", the Juliet to his Romeo. It felt like the harder he looked for this person, the more difficult it was to find. Of course, he had relationships in the past, his playful and charming personality made sure of this. But those relationships didn't last. After few months he would usually just end up where he started, single, searching and lonely. Everyday, he considers if he was doomed to be alone, if it was his fate. Although he brings so much joy and laughter to the people he meets daily, he constantly lives in fear of the one thing you'd think he'd never know. He constantly lives in fear of loneliness.

For most, it's not about finding the right 'squad' or the perfect relationship it's the deep stuff like being accepted in your family or society for who you really are or for the course you want to study in university or how you dress or the way you speak. But the story is the same, at some point or the other, we've all been like Andy. We've allowed the fear of loneliness push us to taking steps we never wanted to in the first place 😧. Laurie Graham once said "Times have changed, but there are some things that are always with us - loneliness is one of them" 

So maybe loneliness may be sad and depressing most times, but maybe, just maybe if we embrace the "unique awkwardness" that make us lonely, we might just find that we're not lonely at all, that there indeed is a light at the end of the tunnel 😀 or not😝. But at least we'd be happier because even if it's just for one second, we were not alone.

I'll end with this beautiful quote by Amy Tan

"Our uniqueness makes us special, makes perception valuable - but it can also make us lonely. This loneliness is different from being 'alone'. You can be lonely even surrounded by people. The feeling I'm talking about stems from the sense that we can never fully share the truth of who we are..." Amy Tan

So that's what Edna thinks, let me know what you think in the comment section below. Don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for reading.

Photos from: https://thoughtcatalog.com/lorenzo-jensen-iii/2015/03/36-absolutely-heartbreaking-quotes-about-loneliness/

2nd photo from Google+